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This chapter documents how the actions of people in Sweden and Denmark who work and care for people with disabilities are guided by very different attitudes about engagement. In Sweden, two related mottoes or mantras are frequently invoked when social workers and personal assistants talk about sexuality and disability. The first is “Don’t wake the sleeping bear”; i.e. don’t do anything (such as provide information or help) that might arouse a sexuality that seems dormant or absent. The second is “If I haven’t done anything, at least I haven’t done anything wrong.” These two expressions summarize and sustain a culture in which disabled people’s sexuality is ignored and hindered. This attitude, and the policies and practices that emerge from it, is contrasted with the situation in Denmark, where helpers assist people with significant disabilities to perform activities like masturbation or engage in sex with others.

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